The Twins Paradox and Other Imponderables

Can either below physics.stackexchange thread (one referencing the other as already answered) provide a satisfactory answer?  Not to me.

https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/620066/twin-paradox-in-sr

https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/2554/how-is-the-classical-twin-paradox-resolved

 

The predictable "possible responses" to this Relativity Challenge are covered, and searching Google turns up the more of the same.  Truthfully, this Relativity Facepalm satire begins to sound reasonable.